In true Kentucky fashion, yesterday it was 65 degrees outside so of course there’s a snow storm today. But it got me thinking about the best things to do when you’re snowed in for the night and the following day. Here’s my top 5.
5) Emergency grocery store trip
Honestly, is it even a snow day if you don’t freak the fuck out and go to Kroger for milk and bread? We’re all guilty of it, and then we have to make a social media post about how ridiculously busy the store is, maybe snap a quick pic? I’ve got a confession to make guys, I buy frozen pizzas, popcorn, and alcohol. To hell with your parent’s staple foods.
4) Breaking out the board games
Maybe it’s just our house, but is there really anything better than a long night of dog cussing your family over Monopoly? Or finally convincing your parents to play Cards Against Humanity? Trust me, the first time your mom sees the “Biggest Blackest Dick” card is truly special!
3) Netflix Binge
Not that we weren’t going to do this anyway, but the snow storm makes it more acceptable and less shameful. Few things rival the guilty pleasure of absolutely ripping thru an entire season of a show in one sitting. Yes Netflix, we’re still watching. Stop being a judgmental bitch. Side note, if you’re looking for something to binge this snow day I recommend “Peaky Blinders”, “Black Mirror”, “Master of None”, and “Stranger Things” if you’ve somehow been living under a rock.
2) Breaking out the snow toys
Now this is where Kentucky really separates itself from the rest of the country. You beautiful, backwards, innovative, redneck sons of bitches. This is where you take safety and throw it straight out of the fucking window. Break out that four wheeler, grab some rope or ratchet straps, and that old twin mattress your mom’s been saving in the shed. It’s time to get fucking weird. Last time it snowed we hooked our canoe up and let that bad boy roll.
1) DRINK DRINK DRINK
Was there ever really a question what number one was going to be? Not only is it it’s own activity, it’s also an amplifier for all the other activities. Break out the bourbon, beer, or wine. You’re calling into work tomorrow, why not let loose? Just make sure you call in before the festivities begin! Y’all be safe and enjoy the snow!