Look fellas, I’m all about being tough. Hell, I consider myself an all world guys guy. But I’ve gotta be honest with you. I fucking love wearing tights. They’re a gift from the heavens.

Ladies have had this one right for a long, LONG TIME! There’s nothing like them. They’re comfortable and climate controlled, not too hot and not too cold. Not that being cold matters because guys don’t get cold am I right *cough cough*

They’re like pajama pants on steroids, they give you all the same benefits without that bunching up non-sense when you lay the wrong way. These are optimal Netflix apparel. And guys, since we’re in the trust tree I’m going to be honest, my wife says they make my ass look great, but that doesn’t matter because we’re dudes of course.

Not sold? How about this, you just throw basketball shorts over them and you can run your errands. Everyone will instantly think you’ve been exercising like the alpha male that you are, they don’t need to know the sweat is from being wedged between couch cushions for hours on end.

Plus, Nike makes “Combat Compression tights” they just sound bad ass. You know who would wear combat compression tights? Vikings that’s who. Nobody is tougher than a Viking. It’s time to accept your destiny and start rocking tights fellas.